A couple of days ago it was my birthday. I am officially 27. Twenty-seven. A hard fact to swallow. I am three years away from thirty. To be honest, I feel old. I feel old for the things I want to achieve in my life. There’s something scary about birthdays. The older you get -for me at least, the scariest the day of your birthday becomes. What mattered for me that day though, was how I felt. And I was feeling pretty crappy. And sadly I was feeling like that most of this past entire year.
I did celebrate my birthday, just with one friend at home. -thanks covid. I felt weird. I remember looking at this chocolatey cake which had two candles on top a “2” and a “7”, and I was feeling so alone. I had to make a wish. I always make a wish before I blew the candles. The last four years I always made the same wish. “Find my one”. -yep, I’ m four years single, judge me. Four years single. I dated some men. Didn’t work out.
This year I decided to make a different wish. Not for men this time. Just for myself. Something that I am able to control. Because a wish that you can control has more chances of actually coming true.
Hey, single ladies out there, I know you made the same wish 100 times. Yeah, this one which includes a man. I know cause I’m a woman. I know, cause my besties are open and vulnerable with me. I know how hard it is to want so badly a partnership but not having one. I know how it feels, thinking that you tried so hard but still, everything failed. I know the pain of unsuccessful dates, I know the awful pain of a heartbreak, the pain of rejection. I know. I know cause falling in love is beautiful. Falling in love is magical. Everything seems better when you’re in love, everything is easier when you have a true, honest, respectful relationship. Love is a blessing.
At the start of the year I said to myself, “I’m done with trying to find a man”. What a liar am I. The desire is still there. I’m not desperate, I never was. It’s not shame to want to have a relationship. I know, that deep down all of us want, to finally meet this one with whom we can share our precious life with. Love is an essential part of happiness. I want the laughs, I want the joy, I want the stupid fights, I want the hugs, the kisses.. I want everything. Love makes you feel alive. Unfortunately we cannot control when love will happen to us. The only thing we can do is trust. It breaks my heart that I am 27 and I don’t have a special someone in my life. But it is what it is. Can’t change it. It’s out of my control. Let’s just focus on ourselves instead. Let’s follow our dreams, let’s try to be the best version of ourselves and the right time for us will come. I know that many people feel alone, more than ever now, but don’t give up. Don’t lose hope. Never stop believing. When the time is right, he will come. Stay brave, stay fabulous. You got this.
A Better Me. 