I am pissed off. I am. Mostly because I’ve allowed many people in my life to treat me with disrespect and still, I accepted it. People of any kind but mostly, men. Respect is one of the most important qualities for a relationship to thrive. But many of us allow people to mistreat us. Many women don’t call out their partners on their unacceptable behaviour, because they’re usually that stupid to think they do not deserve better. I’m sorry, that was harsh, I know, it was a bit of a tough love. The only individuals who will allow someone to treat them disrespectfully are the ones with low self-esteem. I know cause I am one of them.
Today I had an appointment with my gynaecologist for a quick check up. The clinic was very busy so I had to wait. In the waiting room there was a young lady who had just come out of a surgery. A surgical abortion. Don’t ask how I know this. I know. I’m a smart lady and I heard the nurse asking her some intimate questions. She was sitting near me with a warm tea. She was talking on the phone in a language I couldn’t understand. She seemed mad. One of the nurses came to ask her if she was ok and if she would like her to call her an uber home. The girl replied that her boyfriend would come to pick her up but she would have to wait 40 minutes. She seemed relieved but still mad. I felt for her. Suddenly, I had a big desire to tell her to say to her boyfriend not to bother coming and to never talk to him again cause he’s an as****e. But I couldn’t. First of all she would think I am a crazy person that sticks her nose in other people businesses, secondly she would realise that when I was pretending to look at my phone I was spying on her, and thirdly I couldn’t ask her to do that because if I was in her shoes probably I would also wait for my boyfriend to arrive. Yeah cause I’m that dump. I would hope that one day he would change. Like I always did in my life.
This girl had just had an abortion and I cannot even think on what kind of an emotional situation she was at. And she was alone. Her boyfriend who clearly was also responsible for that incident was not even there, and furthermore, she had to beg him to come and pick her up. Yeah ladies. Yep. That’s a perfectly awful example of what can happen to you when you hold on to a partner who showed you numerous times that he is not worthy of your time and effort. Love as strong as it may be cannot fix another person’s character. It cannot. If he disrespects you once you have to set clear boundaries about what you’re gonna accept and what you won’t. If he does it again you’ll have to protect yourself by leaving. No matter how much you care about someone you should never let them chip away at your self-worth. Don’t accept this kind of behaviour from anyone. Don’t hold on to a relationship just because of the expectations you had. He clearly doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life. There’s gonna be a much better suitable partner for you who will treat you with respect. There are amazing men out there. Men who were brought up by beautiful women who taught them how to respect the females around them.
I’ve been there. I’ve had partners who disrespected me and I didn’t have the guts to speak out for myself. No matter how much you think you can forgive, a relationship without respect is never gonna work. I know it’s hard to let go but eventually you’ll realise that it was the best thing you could do, for your own sanity. Respect should be a non-negotiable. Work on your self-esteem. It’s a process but you’ll get there. Relationships should make us happy and bring the best in us. That’s what relationships are for. Being hurt is part of life. The rough times are gonna come, but they have not come to stay. Stay strong, stay encouraged. Stick your chest out. Walk with pride. You matter. You deserve the best.
A Better Me. 